holy week reflections.

I have set aside time to reflect for Holy Week. If other people are bored and they can't think of anything else to do then reflecting is one of the best way to know yourself better. Knowing oneself entails re-examining one's self again, the strength and weaknesses; and if the past can help you deal with the present stress then go delve the past. It helps to go somewhere silent where only the wind and your footstep can be heard.

Some of my reflections.
~ I will embrace myself in its fulness.
~ Worrying will makes things worse, scary and hopeless.
~ I will not force people into liking me.
~ I am not going to depend on one thing alone. There are other caves to explore.
~ I will make it a point to read, write everyday. If not I can always write in my mind.
~ I will take better care of myself.
~ I will feed my mind with only the positive insights
~ I am going to always hope that one day... some day...
~ Loving our God always

The week long vacation is over. Everybody will be back to their offices, school, streets and returning from their spas and beaches. I hope that how we spend each day will always include prayers, hope, love, peace and happiness. Let us all spread these blessings.

Happy Easter! God bless Everyone!

feeling below the wheel

I have a huge infection on my upper and lower lip now. I had no idea where all this is coming from. My lip is swelling a bit. I have already applied ointment. Yesterday, it started hurting and I had a gut feeling that there will be a major spread of infection all over and it came true. Something that I hate. It destroys my confidence and comfort. I started feeling frustration. Why this again? I hate this!

Then on the other hand, I am thankful. I thank God for this sweet crap. Even if I don't know why I am often getting this, at least it is not something serious. Though this is the most major one I have ever gotten in my life. I stayed at home today working my ass off again. I'm thinking, is there are reason for this? Do I have to think over something? I am not liking my job here. I felt like a slave. Issues are always pouring. Customers are always ranting and ordering us like cows. I hate them and my job. I know that I have to be thankful but I am not happy at all. I feel helpless sometimes--wanting to do something I like, explore and yet I do nothing at all.

I don't need any advice here. I just need to expel all these negative feelings. I know what to do.

sunday pastimes

Woke up late on a sunny morning. I usually linger for a while and stare at the ceiling. I think of the events happened yesterday, the things that I have to do later and thank the Lord for this day. I love fresh sunny morning. It makes me want to do this and that. It gives me hope actually. Just by lying down I could already imagine myself accomplishing a lot. It was funny because usually it does not happen that way. Sometimes, conflicts arise, unexpected events take place. Suddenly I am in frustration, feeling the heat of the weather, tired even if it is only the start of the day. I learned now that it is all in the attitude. It is up to me to be cheerful, nonchalant and just enjoy the thrill of everything.

Today, I do a bit of work, surf on some cooking schools that offer short inexpensive courses that must be near my place running on a weekend only. So far, I found zero. There a lot of great cooking schools, expensive and inexpensive offering short and long term courses but they are all very far from me. Well.. in case you are wondering what has gotten into me trying to go into a cooking school hmm.. I don't know, sometimes when I feel like doing something, I just plunge through until I get tired of it and whisk it off. If it is indeed a passion or something that I believe would capture my interest then I would have continued. Anyway, I watched GG, walk a bit and took some photos of the sky and greens and went back to read the newspaper.

The heat is killing me. I feel that I have to double my efforts in breathing. I always feel sticky after a bath. It affects my attitude, my cravings, my view, my life.... The global warming is showing its face to us now, clearer than ever. It is telling us that, "hey... here is your karma for destroying the earth." If we, the rich and the middle class people are suffering from the heat trauma, what more are the people living in the slums? Imagine a congested house built by some creative materials furnished side by side in order to create a million boxes housing more than a million of people. Imagine the smell, the air, the small or little passage ways, the lack of water and food, the heat on their bodies and the foul smelling dogs with fleas on them. Imagine the germs and diseases which are spreading. Well, we are still luckier. Bottomline is nature now is not showing any signs of happiness. Nature is not going to bring us fresh air, harmless sunrays and good smelling rain. As I struggled with commuting under the heat and pollution everyday, I realized that we are all going to die earlier. Pardon for the bluntness. It is a sad reality.

=) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =)

I am signing off now. gotta rest! :)

in a negative world

Stay away from negative thoughts. Stay away from people who loves to have these thoughts. Because I assure you this won't do you any good. If everytime you started talking about the bad attitude of a friend or perhaps saying that you want to learn to play with cooking then that nega-person started saying, "oh you guys won't even last long. Attitudes are hard to change" or "when will you even cook for us, till we got old?" Simple remarks and yet it is negative. It sounds and means one thing.

Now, why do these people think negatively? They might not be aware of it. They would think it is a normal way of thinking. They would say it is a fact of life. Life is harsh you know. Or some will guilt trip you like saying, "I am your friend/mother/grandma... No one cares for you the way I do. I am only telling the truth." So wow, the truth hurts but then the thing is it does not even happen in the first place. Their worst thinking has not even taken into action. It is all in the mind. Because thoughts drive us crazy. Believe me. It is like a rocking chair that wouldn't bring you anywhere. It is the devil's mind.

So quit those negative thoughts for a healthier being. :)

*This post is for those who loves having those thoughts* -signs off-

Kythe: Children should be playing kites

Sometimes all people need is some hope. That's what I have felt when we went to Armed Forces of the Philippines Medical Center (AFPMC). Kids as young as 3 months are diagnosed with serious illnesses. These sickness prevents them from going to school and do other day to day activities. Some kids spend the rest of the days, months or even years in the hospital. It's depressing, and hopeless most of the time. That Saturday morning, we met Christian, a little boy of 4. He has asthma when he was just 3 months. He is very silent yet his eyes danced when he plays. He has hope. I enjoyed just watching him toss legos in the truck or somewhere else. There's this kid that has leukemia but he is soo energetic. He runs, jumps, slides and sometimes slips. I admire his strength. Sometimes, it makes me think what if people don't worry much about stuff and just enjoy the thrill of living.

Later that afternoon, we had a session of relaxation technique. Causes of stress are enumerated as well as excercises and meditation. There are foods to avoid, relationship problems to addressed and helping oneself in coping with stress.

A hospital is a dreary place no one dares to go. It smells of sickness and darkness. Yet that day and everyday, there are people who goes there to make time for the sick patients. It is hard to help others but it wouldn't hurt to extend our hands. We are so lucky and complete. Helping others without second thought will make us richer in every sense.

Francis M, goodbye and good day

Nandito na si chito

Si chito miranda

Nandito na si kiko

Si Francis Magalona

That is the first few lines that I have recalled when I heard what had happened to Francis M. I have know him that way from the Bagsakan Lyrics. It was Friday and I saw my friend's update on Plurk. It said something like Francis M passed away. Immediately my thought when to that song and I asked,"Talaga? Si Francis Magalona ba yun?" My friend said, "Yeah, inaanounce sa Eat Bulaga". And I was like-- this is sooo sadness. Then I started asking the why, how, when questions.

I have done some research and found that he died of Leukemia and other complications. He was just 44. Later that night I watched SNN (Showbiz News Ngayon) and the show was all about him. I was amazed at how largely he has impacted a lot of people from all over the world. He is the King of Rapper, a father, and a true friend. People he knows recounted the old and fun times they had with him. He is described as a very makulit guy. He is also creative as he writes his own lyrics. His music is all about the country and other day to day activities.

I cried for a number of reasons. I cried for his family because it hurts so much to have lost a father. I cried for his friends because all the fun memories with him is now gone. I cried for the music industry because he has contributed much to the country... As one of this collegue has mentioned that now he is gone, there's no more rapper as good as he is. I cried because he has endured much pain. I cried because I am inspired by him. Though I only know him for that song but he has contributed much to other people. He has live his purpose..or so I think. And I should say that he has made a legacy. People would always remember him as Francis M... someone who dreams and lives.

~Life is short and abrupt. One day you are in and the next day you are gone. You never know. But what's important is to know that death is a certainty so we shouldn't dwell on the uncertainty so much. Fear and regret is something that we should push aside from our minds. Love the one life you have. It's the only things that matters. Prepare your soul for the afterlife.

sunday leisure

Here I am on a Sunday morning reading the newspaper. Felt so good to have eaten a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs with tomatoes and bread with the goodness of oats and happy nuts to keep me and you happy. ^^ Learned a lot from reading the news. Apart from the politics and kidnapping, robbery and killing, there's hope. I can read it somewhere there in the middle. Whenever I read about Obama, it sparks hope and whenever I read about the Phil Star inbox that stores people's comments and reactions about a certain issue, it has hope that someday peace will be restored, whenever I read the comics, it gives me relief and hope as well. Moreover, when I read about the editors' views especially about Jesus it gives me hope all the more.

I am sharing a piece of beautiful words from Manuel Francisco, S.J.

"God does not will our suffering. God desires fullness of life for all. God did not ordain Jesus’ death on the cross. Human beings, particularly the Jewish religious leaders and representatives of the Roman Empire, connived to execute Jesus whose preaching and way of life threatened them. God did not manipulate Judas, the High Priest and Pilate to have Jesus crucified. They rejected God’s will, words and ways embodied in Jesus, in all that he did and stood for.

What then is salvific about the cross? Not the physical pain, but the love underlying the suffering. Love redeems, not pain. Love redeems, not shame. The unjust execution of an innocent man, Jesus, the Son of God, is the work of human sin, a travesty in the eyes of God, the rejection of the Father’s supreme gift to humanity. But the love of Jesus underlying his suffering and his fidelity to his Father and his mission despite the consequent persecution is redemptive.

If the Season of Lent is the period of renewing our baptismal promises, then to recommit ourselves to our Christian Faith involves, on the one hand, alleviating suffering caused by moral sin and denouncing immoral forces of suffering, such as, poverty, exploitation, oppression. On the other hand, recommitting ourselves to our Christian Faith entails embracing the suffering that comes with loving unconditionally, for instance, material deprivation for opting to live with the poor, calumniation for defending the unlovable in society, persecution for speaking the truth.
Fasting from meat and physical comfort is a laudable way of recommitting ourselves to our Christian Faith. But the physical fast must be conjoined to a spiritual fast—fasting from affirmation and fame and embracing calumny and shame due to love is a redemptive fast that participates in the total self-emptying of Jesus who loves unto death, death on a cross."

Here is an inspiring comic strip that I got online from http://www.arcamax.com/hagarthehorrible

Keep reading, learning and always do your best in everything! It's good for you! :)

broken road and friendship

letters that says friendship forever, that nothing would change, keeping in touch

now those letters are just written crap found on the broken road

those words are now meaningless

the days spent on high school is long forgotten

people change, they get more emotional

a year of not calling equates to broken friendship

a moment of not telling who your special someone is means you've broken the promise

and really... it saddens me

that I'm losing friends

or rather people whom I called friends

but what can I do...

It is hard to chase people, keeping up with their life

arranging hang outs when they say they couldn't make it in the end

Yes i still feel sad.... alone....

but I guess I would rather be this way

rather than trying so hard to save them

when they can't even try to understand the meaning of real friendship.

break free

2 days leave. unwind. destress. dare to leave everything behind. care for the body and soul. fruits and veggies. exercise. fresh air. music. I have learned to say No. To not care so much about what other people would say. Realized that this life is all about me. I have to have time for myself before I can give mine fully to other people. Still recovering. Stress is still present. Missed quite a lot. Issues overflowing. books and newspapers. TV. Lola Renette. Guitar and frustrations. Obsessed with Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga. Water and more water. stroll along malls. Secret Life of bees. waking up late. Stinging eyes. God.

I'm wishing that tomorrow is still ... a Sunday.

^________^