the sky.the ceiling.the windows.

holy week reflections.

2009-04-12T11:36:00.002+08:00

I have set aside time to reflect for Holy Week. If other people are bored and they can't think of anything else to do then reflecting is one of the best way to know yourself better. Knowing oneself entails re-examining one's self again, the strength and weaknesses; and if the past can help you deal with the present stress then go delve the past. It helps to go somewhere silent where only the wind and your footstep can be heard.

Some of my reflections.
~ I will embrace myself in its fulness.
~ Worrying will makes things worse, scary and hopeless.
~ I will not force people into liking me.
~ I am not going to depend on one thing alone. There are other caves to explore.
~ I will make it a point to read, write everyday. If not I can always write in my mind.
~ I will take better care of myself.
~ I will feed my mind with only the positive insights
~ I am going to always hope that one day... some day...
~ Loving our God always

The week long vacation is over. Everybody will be back to their offices, school, streets and returning from their spas and beaches. I hope that how we spend each day will always include prayers, hope, love, peace and happiness. Let us all spread these blessings.

Happy Easter! God bless Everyone!

feeling below the wheel

2009-03-24T12:48:00.002+08:00

I have a huge infection on my upper and lower lip now. I had no idea where all this is coming from. My lip is swelling a bit. I have already applied ointment. Yesterday, it started hurting and I had a gut feeling that there will be a major spread of infection all over and it came true. Something that I hate. It destroys my confidence and comfort. I started feeling frustration. Why this again? I hate this!

Then on the other hand, I am thankful. I thank God for this sweet crap. Even if I don't know why I am often getting this, at least it is not something serious. Though this is the most major one I have ever gotten in my life. I stayed at home today working my ass off again. I'm thinking, is there are reason for this? Do I have to think over something? I am not liking my job here. I felt like a slave. Issues are always pouring. Customers are always ranting and ordering us like cows. I hate them and my job. I know that I have to be thankful but I am not happy at all. I feel helpless sometimes--wanting to do something I like, explore and yet I do nothing at all.

I don't need any advice here. I just need to expel all these negative feelings. I know what to do.

sunday pastimes

2009-03-22T19:53:00.005+08:00

Woke up late on a sunny morning. I usually linger for a while and stare at the ceiling. I think of the events happened yesterday, the things that I have to do later and thank the Lord for this day. I love fresh sunny morning. It makes me want to do this and that. It gives me hope actually. Just by lying down I could already imagine myself accomplishing a lot. It was funny because usually it does not happen that way. Sometimes, conflicts arise, unexpected events take place. Suddenly I am in frustration, feeling the heat of the weather, tired even if it is only the start of the day. I learned now that it is all in the attitude. It is up to me to be cheerful, nonchalant and just enjoy the thrill of everything.

Today, I do a bit of work, surf on some cooking schools that offer short inexpensive courses that must be near my place running on a weekend only. So far, I found zero. There a lot of great cooking schools, expensive and inexpensive offering short and long term courses but they are all very far from me. Well.. in case you are wondering what has gotten into me trying to go into a cooking school hmm.. I don't know, sometimes when I feel like doing something, I just plunge through until I get tired of it and whisk it off. If it is indeed a passion or something that I believe would capture my interest then I would have continued. Anyway, I watched GG, walk a bit and took some photos of the sky and greens and went back to read the newspaper.

The heat is killing me. I feel that I have to double my efforts in breathing. I always feel sticky after a bath. It affects my attitude, my cravings, my view, my life.... The global warming is showing its face to us now, clearer than ever. It is telling us that, "hey... here is your karma for destroying the earth." If we, the rich and the middle class people are suffering from the heat trauma, what more are the people living in the slums? Imagine a congested house built by some creative materials furnished side by side in order to create a million boxes housing more than a million of people. Imagine the smell, the air, the small or little passage ways, the lack of water and food, the heat on their bodies and the foul smelling dogs with fleas on them. Imagine the germs and diseases which are spreading. Well, we are still luckier. Bottomline is nature now is not showing any signs of happiness. Nature is not going to bring us fresh air, harmless sunrays and good smelling rain. As I struggled with commuting under the heat and pollution everyday, I realized that we are all going to die earlier. Pardon for the bluntness. It is a sad reality.

=) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =( =) =)

I am signing off now. gotta rest! :)

in a negative world

2009-03-19T17:12:00.004+08:00

Stay away from negative thoughts. Stay away from people who loves to have these thoughts. Because I assure you this won't do you any good. If everytime you started talking about the bad attitude of a friend or perhaps saying that you want to learn to play with cooking then that nega-person started saying, "oh you guys won't even last long. Attitudes are hard to change" or "when will you even cook for us, till we got old?" Simple remarks and yet it is negative. It sounds and means one thing.

Now, why do these people think negatively? They might not be aware of it. They would think it is a normal way of thinking. They would say it is a fact of life. Life is harsh you know. Or some will guilt trip you like saying, "I am your friend/mother/grandma... No one cares for you the way I do. I am only telling the truth." So wow, the truth hurts but then the thing is it does not even happen in the first place. Their worst thinking has not even taken into action. It is all in the mind. Because thoughts drive us crazy. Believe me. It is like a rocking chair that wouldn't bring you anywhere. It is the devil's mind.

So quit those negative thoughts for a healthier being. :)

*This post is for those who loves having those thoughts* -signs off-

Kythe: Children should be playing kites

2009-03-15T19:09:00.004+08:00

Sometimes all people need is some hope. That's what I have felt when we went to Armed Forces of the Philippines Medical Center (AFPMC). Kids as young as 3 months are diagnosed with serious illnesses. These sickness prevents them from going to school and do other day to day activities. Some kids spend the rest of the days, months or even years in the hospital. It's depressing, and hopeless most of the time. That Saturday morning, we met Christian, a little boy of 4. He has asthma when he was just 3 months. He is very silent yet his eyes danced when he plays. He has hope. I enjoyed just watching him toss legos in the truck or somewhere else. There's this kid that has leukemia but he is soo energetic. He runs, jumps, slides and sometimes slips. I admire his strength. Sometimes, it makes me think what if people don't worry much about stuff and just enjoy the thrill of living.

Later that afternoon, we had a session of relaxation technique. Causes of stress are enumerated as well as excercises and meditation. There are foods to avoid, relationship problems to addressed and helping oneself in coping with stress.

A hospital is a dreary place no one dares to go. It smells of sickness and darkness. Yet that day and everyday, there are people who goes there to make time for the sick patients. It is hard to help others but it wouldn't hurt to extend our hands. We are so lucky and complete. Helping others without second thought will make us richer in every sense.

Francis M, goodbye and good day

2009-03-08T18:26:00.000+08:00

Nandito na si chito

Si chito miranda

Nandito na si kiko

Si Francis Magalona

That is the first few lines that I have recalled when I heard what had happened to Francis M. I have know him that way from the Bagsakan Lyrics. It was Friday and I saw my friend's update on Plurk. It said something like Francis M passed away. Immediately my thought when to that song and I asked,"Talaga? Si Francis Magalona ba yun?" My friend said, "Yeah, inaanounce sa Eat Bulaga". And I was like-- this is sooo sadness. Then I started asking the why, how, when questions.

I have done some research and found that he died of Leukemia and other complications. He was just 44. Later that night I watched SNN (Showbiz News Ngayon) and the show was all about him. I was amazed at how largely he has impacted a lot of people from all over the world. He is the King of Rapper, a father, and a true friend. People he knows recounted the old and fun times they had with him. He is described as a very makulit guy. He is also creative as he writes his own lyrics. His music is all about the country and other day to day activities.

I cried for a number of reasons. I cried for his family because it hurts so much to have lost a father. I cried for his friends because all the fun memories with him is now gone. I cried for the music industry because he has contributed much to the country... As one of this collegue has mentioned that now he is gone, there's no more rapper as good as he is. I cried because he has endured much pain. I cried because I am inspired by him. Though I only know him for that song but he has contributed much to other people. He has live his purpose..or so I think. And I should say that he has made a legacy. People would always remember him as Francis M... someone who dreams and lives.

~Life is short and abrupt. One day you are in and the next day you are gone. You never know. But what's important is to know that death is a certainty so we shouldn't dwell on the uncertainty so much. Fear and regret is something that we should push aside from our minds. Love the one life you have. It's the only things that matters. Prepare your soul for the afterlife.

sunday leisure

2009-03-01T18:33:00.000+08:00

Here I am on a Sunday morning reading the newspaper. Felt so good to have eaten a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs with tomatoes and bread with the goodness of oats and happy nuts to keep me and you happy. ^^ Learned a lot from reading the news. Apart from the politics and kidnapping, robbery and killing, there's hope. I can read it somewhere there in the middle. Whenever I read about Obama, it sparks hope and whenever I read about the Phil Star inbox that stores people's comments and reactions about a certain issue, it has hope that someday peace will be restored, whenever I read the comics, it gives me relief and hope as well. Moreover, when I read about the editors' views especially about Jesus it gives me hope all the more.

I am sharing a piece of beautiful words from Manuel Francisco, S.J.

"God does not will our suffering. God desires fullness of life for all. God did not ordain Jesus’ death on the cross. Human beings, particularly the Jewish religious leaders and representatives of the Roman Empire, connived to execute Jesus whose preaching and way of life threatened them. God did not manipulate Judas, the High Priest and Pilate to have Jesus crucified. They rejected God’s will, words and ways embodied in Jesus, in all that he did and stood for.

What then is salvific about the cross? Not the physical pain, but the love underlying the suffering. Love redeems, not pain. Love redeems, not shame. The unjust execution of an innocent man, Jesus, the Son of God, is the work of human sin, a travesty in the eyes of God, the rejection of the Father’s supreme gift to humanity. But the love of Jesus underlying his suffering and his fidelity to his Father and his mission despite the consequent persecution is redemptive.

If the Season of Lent is the period of renewing our baptismal promises, then to recommit ourselves to our Christian Faith involves, on the one hand, alleviating suffering caused by moral sin and denouncing immoral forces of suffering, such as, poverty, exploitation, oppression. On the other hand, recommitting ourselves to our Christian Faith entails embracing the suffering that comes with loving unconditionally, for instance, material deprivation for opting to live with the poor, calumniation for defending the unlovable in society, persecution for speaking the truth.
Fasting from meat and physical comfort is a laudable way of recommitting ourselves to our Christian Faith. But the physical fast must be conjoined to a spiritual fast—fasting from affirmation and fame and embracing calumny and shame due to love is a redemptive fast that participates in the total self-emptying of Jesus who loves unto death, death on a cross."

Here is an inspiring comic strip that I got online from http://www.arcamax.com/hagarthehorrible

Keep reading, learning and always do your best in everything! It's good for you! :)

broken road and friendship

2009-02-27T18:47:00.000+08:00

letters that says friendship forever, that nothing would change, keeping in touch

now those letters are just written crap found on the broken road

those words are now meaningless

the days spent on high school is long forgotten

people change, they get more emotional

a year of not calling equates to broken friendship

a moment of not telling who your special someone is means you've broken the promise

and really... it saddens me

that I'm losing friends

or rather people whom I called friends

but what can I do...

It is hard to chase people, keeping up with their life

arranging hang outs when they say they couldn't make it in the end

Yes i still feel sad.... alone....

but I guess I would rather be this way

rather than trying so hard to save them

when they can't even try to understand the meaning of real friendship.

break free

2009-02-01T16:41:00.000+08:00

2 days leave. unwind. destress. dare to leave everything behind. care for the body and soul. fruits and veggies. exercise. fresh air. music. I have learned to say No. To not care so much about what other people would say. Realized that this life is all about me. I have to have time for myself before I can give mine fully to other people. Still recovering. Stress is still present. Missed quite a lot. Issues overflowing. books and newspapers. TV. Lola Renette. Guitar and frustrations. Obsessed with Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga. Water and more water. stroll along malls. Secret Life of bees. waking up late. Stinging eyes. God.

I'm wishing that tomorrow is still ... a Sunday.

^________^

2009 Here I come Baby!

2008-12-31T18:00:00.000+08:00

Only barely 6 hrs before the year 2009 comes wading its way to all of us. A feeling of hope and anticipation resides the heart. People are filled with the inspiration to start fresh and new. Music and fireworks everywhere. There is always something in the atmosphere when it comes to New Year. We all want to change for the better. People started making resolutions and aspirations. Planning ahead and making dreams come true. We all wish for a better luck and money. Life is hard now. Earning a living is like climbing up a rocky steep mountain with the icy wind blowing above you.

As for me, I am going to live life as I always did.. but this time with a twist. Not that it makes any difference except that I will be more closer to myself. I am going to think of ways to liven up my life. I will try some hobbies. I will get less emotional. I will be myself and not entertain ill thoughts. There are so much more to do. Life starts now even before so... Just Live It.

Have a Happy and Hopeful New Year! Praying for a more peaceful world. mwah!

reveal

2008-12-30T12:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it is hard to reveal your feelings because you are afraid of being let down. You are afraid of not being accepted. And when you did, the worse happens.

letting it out

2008-12-29T23:38:00.000+08:00

It hurts so much to know that after some months of being together... he still does not know you.
It hurts when you feel that you have been trying to give it all and yet he still does not recognize.

Love hurts...so much that tears will just flow...

Sunset

2008-12-29T19:49:00.000+08:00

There is something about the sun that makes me want to start the day. It refreshes me. Its light gives me strength. Most of all it gives me hope. I also love the sunset. It tells me to rest after a hard day of work. It calms and soothes me. It brings peace to my soul. However, the sunset makes me sad too. It brings back memories. I tend to think a lot of things... family feud, lost friends, future, detachment, love, work... leaving me lifeless.. Sometimes I feel like crying for no reason at all.

I guess that is the beauty of being a human. You feel the pain and joy in everything. Feelings are raw. Often times, we think too much. Sometimes we just want to scream. But the majesty of it is that we wake up each morning finding ourselves alive in this world.. feeling the sun warming our skin... simple bliss of being alive and just experience the thrill of what we call Life.

Welcoming 2009 with Hope

2008-12-27T10:24:00.000+08:00

Everyday is an opportunity to change for the better. Sometimes, the lack of motivation and inspiration to do so make us grow weary to continue what has started. But still, the willingness to change is there.

For the coming of 2009, i want to start fresh once again. The year 2008 has been filled with hope and despair, excitement and weariness, motivation and frustration...

Highlights of 2008

1. Starting my real job in one of the best companies in the world.

2. Accepting the real deal of working and dealing with clients.

3. Waking up early, commuting under the heat, going home late.

4. The routine of my everyday life continues

5. The feeling of insanity.. of being out of place..of not being fulfilled

6. The feeling of wanting-to-get-out-of-here

7. Becoming the slave of work

8. Forgetting my friends and loved ones

9. Found someone

10. Awards; economic crisis; no salary increase; hard life

And so my 2008 was filled with the work to lived and the work to be enslaved. There are too much tears in here. Happiness is always temporary. The wanting to break free is there but nothing really happen. Confuse on where to go. Weak.

But each time I woke up and see the sun, I smile. Whenever the air brushes my skin and tangles my hair, I feel peace. Whenever I see my loved ones I feel like my day is going to be just fine. Whenever I hear music, I sing. Whenever I see you, I feel inspired. I guess there is still Hope for me.

I want my 2009 to be filled with hope.

1. Just live.

2. Say No. Be myself.

3. Dream and let it come true.

4. Be a slave to prayer.

5. Work should be a something to do when you are bored.

6. Say Hi to friends and loved ones.

7. Eat and drink healthily and be merry.

8. Read, read, read! Write!

9. Let God be the center in my life.

10. Give my best always!

Have faith and hope. Everything is going to be the way we want it. Just live Life. ;)

All is Temporary

2008-12-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

I realized that we must not hold on to our loved ones so much. They don't belong to us but God's.

Learn to let go

Shed a tear and miss them but not always...

Be thankful for the happy times

Don't think too much of sad times

Pray for strength

In the end we are going to see each other again... in Paradise where there is no end.

A Prayer.

2008-12-06T21:58:00.000+08:00

Here is one of the best prayer I have read.

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares .

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love. Working for God on earth doesn't pay much......but His retirement plan is out of this world..